rage against the machine

before my head explodes – must stop trying to figure out this [unrelated database issue with a site that is totally fucked until I figure it out] IMPOSSIBLE thing. that i keep giving just one more try… let go and all that….

today’s song: Kindergarten [< listen]
“Folklore: nobody’s supposed to believe in the next grade
WRITE IT A HUNDRED TIMES”

so i’d hit this i guess little depression for a couple of days where ..I guess it will sound rather cliche like ‘the evils of the world’ and seeing the.. negativity that people are capable of. But then with more experienced eyes, having traveled through several degrees of perspective surrounding the relationship between ‘evil’ and ignorance; the degrees seemingly of Self evolution, itself. –but wait a second, this is actually very depressing suddenly. This sucks.

then came across some synchronous material that aided a working understanding of  the current mode/phase. Partly, the old regular: to outgrow often involves feeling uncomfortable, and …

July 26th, 2009

Summertime

Summer is going well, with all its extra fun and challenges. Tristan is here and so I’ve found ways to interject lots of online gaming into my work schedule. Of course I wish he was here much more often and think the system is obviously flawed -parents with equal rights to parent should have equal time // the child should have equal time with both parents. Yet, because of the slave indoctrination (err public school) system and it’s 9 months, and then throw in the ‘custodial’ parents’ right to have at least some of the 3 summer months (I suppose to have more time since so much is spent with the kid in school and them at their jobs), and T and I are left with about 1/6 of a year to spend together. We continue to make the most of things. Oh to have him here and homeschooled, but of course I lost the right to make those …

July 10th, 2009

the dreaming-body

“When we first sat down here to talk, I said that no rational assumptions should interfere with the actions of a seer,” he continued in a stern tone. “I knew that in order to reclaim what you’ve done, you’d have to do it in the level of awareness you are in now.’

He explained that I had to understand that rationality is a condition of alignment, merely the result of the position of the assemblage point. He emphasized that I had to understand this when I was at that moment. To understand it when my assemblage point had reached the position where there are no doubts was useless, because realizations of that nature are commonplace in that position. It was equally useless to understand it in a state of normal awareness; in that state, such realizations are emotional outbursts that are valid only for as long as the emotion lasts.

“I’ve said that you traveled a great distance that day,” he …

July 1st, 2009