Satan, the Dweller at the Threshold (involution-evolution)

Reading more about Dweller on the Threshold reframed my earlier doorway OBEs to have been a type of initiation to another degree of consciousness. I can see how, along a rather natural progression, the residual past me’s and even transpersonal -collective unconscious- the stuff of the World, formed a concentration of shadow consciousness. This was the entity next to the doorway. Or, like in the Wiki page, my confusion over these OBEs in the months that followed had to do with the cognitive dissonance of having experienced both vantage points, the ’solar angel’ and the ‘dweller’. Example: at the beginning I’m this bodiless, free being soaring around see-feeling in all directions. But then, I’m the one being pulled through a doorway, feeling myself being annihilated. Then pop I was back in my body. Several times this happened. Seemingly, I was going back to pick up these dwellers, until finally when I went to the meeting place there …

September 23rd, 2009

Fuck Art, Let’s Kill

[decided to use random titles rather than get stuck on thinking them up when nothing comes to mind- this is from a t-shirt...]

I’ve been writing some on Satan and Individuation, piecing together some experiences and research since some larger, mmm closing perspectives on these matters have been popping up synchronously. Which is always nice, to have a kind of summary and inkling of what might open up after finishing integration of the lower aspects. Some interesting pieces of perspective have come from reading this Eating the I book that Chad found for me at the library. Like the author mentions at one point, retelling a similar period in his life (a psychic realm where meaning is found in symbolism as well as causality ), he wondered if talking about the devil might not attract his attention. I know the feeling, but after having met the dude and doing a lot of the work (processing moorings to survival density / …

September 16th, 2009

Things I Know For Sure

For those who may not be aware of the book, the title of this post is a nod to the Vonnegut book Sirens of Titan, wherein the main character, after being shoved around by the powers-that-be, has been brainwashed as a member of the Martian army. Though he starts off as a rather self-assured wealthy man in the beginning of the book, with the world at his fingertips, through a much more detailed chain of events than I have room to impart here (read the book!), he winds up as just another infantry soldier in the Martian army. He is repeatedly brainwashed as his natural proclivity for figuring things out arises again and again. During this time he makes a list entitled “Things I Know For Sure” which his brainwashed self repeatedly finds, learns from and makes additions to, thus this list helps him in clarifying his position within the state of things.

This notion of a list …

September 9th, 2009

Puppy Prioritizing

So I’m going up to North Dakota to celebrate my grandmother’s 90th birthday. It’s going to be a very special trip and I’m really looking forward to that as well as seeing where i grew up and haven’t returned to in nearly 20 years. that said…. I’d assumed that the Houston date for the upcoming In Solvent tour was at least a few days after I got back from the ND trip. Yesterday I opened up the calendar to double check dates, and was somewhat horrified to discover that there’s no way I could make it to the Houston event (already have tickets) as I was not scheduled to fly back until the 2nd. I was extremely dejected, but tried to be grateful. My g-ma’s birthday is the main thing, and at least I was going to get back in time to make it to the Dallas show.

So I hopped online and bought Dallas tickets and Chad and I …

September 6th, 2009

Farewell, Hamilton

Hamilton did not heal, after all. His eye got better and worse and off and on for nearly a week after the last post. It was stressful to feel so helpless to help the little guy. -so absolutely helpless. So we just tried to spend time with him and comfort him as best we could. He got so that he was breathing really hard, he was just worn out from old age or whatever was going on with his vehicle. He would sort of shuffle around and then sit slouched over, etc.  Try to go through his usual motions, but could move his arms and legs as freely as before. He was clearly suffering, and this all went on just long enough that I had to consult my views on euthanasia. I might add that marijuana can be medicinal for animals too, and that seemed to really make him feel better.

I think we still had hope that it might …

September 1st, 2009