and onto the mesoteric
Finished Gnosis I (exoteric).
some notes:
reincarnation. i remember saying that I didn’t understand reincarnation: if i am not cohesive enough to remember a past life, then how can who I recycle into be any more connected to my past lives, than to any other person’s past lives? It seems Mouravieff has provided yet another bit that finishes another jigsaw of mine, this one regarding reincarnation; destiny and free will.
M talks about one’s life being a film loop –not that the lifetime happens over and over again, but from our understanding, that’s about the gist of it, though experientially it would not seem that way : once we graduate from the predestined track, that’s that; there isn’t a need to be aware of all the parallel selves running around like robots, gathering data; we’re the us we are whenever we reach critical mass, not the earlier reactionary critters. And if we’re happy enough with life to never question the film or read the clues toward evolution to real consciousness, we live the film forever. (how long is forever in a materialistic bubble)
So, our nature’s, our films, exist as genetic code originating in the Eternal. We have these strands of spiritual DNA. As relatively developed, yet still reactionary beings not in control like we like to think, this seems to amount to jutting out from the ray-of-creation into a temporal realm, in order to grow something like free will. Until we do, we keep experiencing the same general programming loop, without being aware of it (of the repetitive nature and patterns), until we are. you get the idea
whereas, reincarnation is different: conscious reincarnation from beyond this temporal realm, into it…another topic
according to Mouravieff (and matching my own experiences thus far), there is a sort of gauntlet that includes a first and second initiation/threshold and a bunch of stuff/trials in between (the steps of the Staircase). he says something like that one will not forget and need to recross the first threshold in the same life, but the transition to ‘real i’ only happens at the second threshold, and if it is not accomplished within the same lifetime, all the trials and first initiation must be repeated. good times. funny, because I’ve always had this split feeling of being really new, but also maybe some kind of lingerer, like I’m just not figuring something out or don’t want to though I’ve had several chances. But I think the fact that the two main impressions are polar opposites (very ‘young/old soul’) show that it’s perspective from a different layer I don’t completely understand. I think it’s like what M says about misunderstanding deja vous and other impressions of having lived before. Our ‘window of now/perception’ widens some toward the past and the future. in the case of the future, this might be experienced as having already lived that moment we’re experiencing along with the glimpse of ‘future’. i sort of assume that the ‘knowns’ I receive from higher self and such, are from a future or more complete me.
So, somehow through the internal logic of Diversification, our selves, though unaware of looping experiments, manage to piece together enough information to apply it back into our selves, until a saturation point where we bust free from the film –the script– and are born as true Individuals. karma being the result of our free movements, and how it is that one trip through our film will be different from another –since nothing is lost, our free movements inform the particulars in how our film unwinds differently from one trip to the next, but still adheres to the main themes being used to impart a desire to outgrow programming, to step from the film loop to the spiral.
I mean so it’s got to be about time, right? like the Cassiopaean transcripts, or how i heard Steve, Righ? mention in some MSI interview (i mean i’m not the only one thinking about it)– that like aliens even are our future selves. that we come back to try and perfect, or alter, etc, our own pasts, to make more options available to our future-present…? um. anyway.
going back to these films. M says there are organic or primary characters in our films as well as secondary characters and everyone else. He says we tend to get confused about who is playing which role, and that the biggest mistakes are made in romantic pairings with sister/brother spirits rather than finding one’s true polar being. i’ll go back to polar beings in a bit. So we have friend/family spirits who play various roles from one experience of our film to the next. M says that if we connect with these main characters we will see progress (more on this), but too often people confuse a secondary/extra character for an ‘organic’ one (the one tied to one’s film), thus pulling them into our film and complicating everything.
He says that connecting with the main characters in our film will feel like a team. The personalities will probably be very different in some ways but one thing that will stand out is a clear intention of there being no lies –that each will value and seek transparency. I’ve really liked this idea of teams since I started noticing it in pop culture, like Lady in the Water, where each person must figure out how their nature defines which character they are to their team. well, transparency too, if we’re on the topic of things I like. that is something that became clear in the ‘obe’ meeting with you. how we could both see into the other, and did to verify each other’s identity. it was also clear that we could see if the other had something they didn’t want the other to look too closely at, etc // a good idea of what real transparency is like, and how in many ways it’s greater intimacy, not some naked, no-control situation.
to better understand the significance of how the team is made up, and the kind of mission entrusted to it, it must be remembered that the spiral of the film unwinds itself in an intermediate position, between rotation without issue in the plane of eternity, and progress in time through conscious reincarnation.
seems like a useful visual to keep in mind.
M says that traditionally, after crossing the first threshold, one is to shelter themselves as much as possible from karmic effects that will be called to the present (paraphrased) by entering into seclusion, like a monastery, but that this is old-fashioned and now such work must, for most, be done on the esoteric plane while also participating in the secular plane.
Then at the end of the book, M goes back to this Androgyne idea, that finding our polar being can make the stuff between the 1st and 2nd transition much easier, and more of a cumulative experience, rather than the analytical deduction of going it alone. it grabs my attention because after all these years of having tried to let go of it, or see it as just projection, i can’t help but notice the descriptions and how they fit with my experiences regarding this topic. and so what is one to do if they recognized, but the other didn’t? in the like triggered recorded greeting he(us/i) said ‘patience’ so I suppose whether I go it alone and meet up at that point in the timeline, or figure out a way to realign this film… I suppose it works out so long as I do the work…
but yeah, the complications of impulsive movements. as much as I gripe about the circumstances of the meeting: company that showed up, and whatvr else, I fucked things up by getting distracted by someone you’d been close to, like trying to track you down by scent or something when i could have just sat where i was. not that I would undo that, but hindsight being 20/20 and all that, it was the root of my being unavailable when you finally were. i can see the ‘pulling other characters into my film’ aspect –the frustration of seeing how helpless I was to nullify how the results of those actions were pulling me away from what is undoubtedly the way.
eh, anyway, trying to contemplate a lot of this closing gnosis-I stuff about finding one’s polar being, as I’ve spotted a few shiny clues, so might as well repeat some so as to ruminate a bit:
Our last question is to discover if there is a sort of esoteric shortcut, allowing the Staircase between the two Thresholds to be climbed more quickly, while we remain and work in the contemporary world.
The means exists: we have referred to it more than once: it is to work as a couple. We must believe that in this new era which approaches, this method will be favoured more and more, will be protected, and will eventually become obligatory. However, for this esoteric work to be completed successfully by two people, it is essential that the two beings -man and woman- are integrally polar.
The method of working here is the reverse of that described above where, by successive elimination based on long and minute analysis of his film, and after new errors and new failures, man must end by finding his legitimate spouse, a fully integral polar being with whom to unite himself.
In this case, man must instead begin by a conscious search for his polar being. If found, they can work together on the film which -in its origin- is common to them both.
A man alone is incomplete. But just where he is weak, his polar being is strong. Together, they form an integral being: their union leads to the fusion of the Personalities and a faster crystallization of their complete subtle bodies, united into a common second Birth. This is the redemption of the original sin.
The system of films is conceived in such a way that polar beings will necessarily meet in life, in certain cases more than once. Only the confused ties contracted in this life by each of them, as a result of their free movements, combined with the karmic consequences of one or more previous experiences, can divert the man or woman from the only being with whom they could form a Microcosmos.
If there were no karmic debt, everything would go wonderfully: two young people would meet in the most favorable family and social atmosphere, and their union would represent a true fairy tale. But this is not reality. Obeying the principle of Imperfection, and moved by the action of the General Law, the two predestined beings will commit errors. Deeply buried in lies, they do not generally know how to appreciate the gift they are given. Often, they do not even recognize each other.
If this is the case, then an agonizing question is put: is there one or more means to detect our polar being, and if so, what are these means? To meet that person, to do so without recognition, to let our polar being pass by, is the worst mistake we could possibly make: because we would remain in our factitious life, without light. Must not everything be sacrificed in favor of a union which is the only chance of our life:the promise of return to paradise lost?
Nevertheless, we should beware of the last trap, one we can fall into just at the moment when ineffable happiness seems to smile upon us. We have just said: all must be sacrificed; we have not said: all must be broken. If, having recognized one another, the two polar beings triumph over this last ordeal or test, often the most painful, the new life will open in front of them..–
…
There is a whole series of subjective and objective clues which assist us in recognizing our polar being. The polarization is manifested on all planes simultaneously: sexual, physical, mental and spiritual.
Two elements must be taken into consideration.
The first is objective. It is a consequence of the principle of Imperfection, manifesting, here as elsewhere, as one of the great principles which condition and rule life. If it is correct to say that the predestined man and woman are absolutely polar beings, this polarity is not simple because, to a certain measure, both are physically, mentally and spiritually hermaphroditic beings. That measure, that proportion, is at the same time sufficient and necessary. It is necessary to permit every being; this image is expressed, in each case , by means of the organ of the opposite sex which exists in every being in a state of non-development. It is, so to say, a part of the flesh and blood of his polar being that each one of us carries within himself. This proportion is sufficient, that is, it is the absolute minimum that will not jeopardize the complete polarity, since the proportion of hermaphroditism in both polar beings is strictly equivalent.
The second element, which is subjective, is the distortion of our Personality due to conscious or unconscious deviations to which the initial film was subject in our life, or more exactly, during the course of our existence. Distortions of this kind make it more difficult to recognize the polar being, and can make us less willing to exert ourselves to unite with that being.
some nifty charts and explanations
It is an axiom that every man and every woman has a polar being: this explains the wonderful numeric equilibrium between the sexes. Nevertheless, not all humans feel the imperative need to be united to their polar being. Beings who live enclosed in their Personality without thinking deeply –and they constitute the great majority of humanity– enthusiastically involve themselves in a life ruled by ‘A’ influences, and do not really feel the need for such a union. For them, the polar being is on the same plane as everyone else. The Personality does not perceive anything exceptional in him, and if by some chance an extraordinary impression is experienced, it is instead felt as something abnormal and embarrassing. Particularly difficult situations are born from such misapprehensions. In this context we can speak of couples formed under the influence of the Law of Accident, in which the partners have opposite aspirations: one aspires towards ‘A’ influences and the other searches for the Way. At the base of such unions we often find, beside a double error of judgment, the influence of karmic debt, remote or recent; for example, an ‘arranged’ marriage, or passion without love. The most intelligent attitude to take on such occasions is to unite the efforts of the couple to unravel the situation to their mutual benefit. Left to itself, the situation will only get worse.
snip some
We can say, however, that accelerated evolution of the hero of he film brings him nearer to his polar being. At the same time, it automatically removes from the film those Personalities who have entered it fortuitously.
After the formation of the magnetic center within him man starts to feel the desire, then the need, to be united to his polar being.
no kidding
This desire and need will increase in proportion to the growth of the latter. This is why, as we have just said, the concept of the Androgyne has purely mythical or theoretical value for ordinary man. We can now realize that for man, a living aspiration to be re-integrated in the Microcosmos –the most direct way to there-integration in the Absolute– is the fruit of a high moral culture. As we have mentioned several times, esoteric evolution is conditioned at the start by a bankruptcy, a moral breakdown. To make progress after this, man must know exactly where he stands, meaning that he must see himself. St Isaac the Syrian said that he who has been able to see himself as he is is better than he who has been able to see the angels.[...]
…
By progressively taking his fate into his own hands, man at the same time takes responsibility for all the partners in his film.
It has already been said that he must restore the original meaning of his film, then push the development of the latter in such a way that the ‘play’ be properly played out to its intended denouement. The hero, while working on himself, must apply himself to create new circumstances around him, which will enhance the unfolding of the action towards its originally intended conclusion. His exterior efforts must above al be directed towards the creation of these circumstances, not towards seeking direct influence over people: this kind of influence often seems opportune, but in the great majority of cases it is an error. Instead of unraveling the situation, the influence creates karmic debts which complicate things all the more. One must be very prudent and circumspect. Yet new circumstances must be created in a way that effectively helps those interested to act in the direction desired. Once again, man should seek to serve, not to impose himself. Patience, perseverance and faith are qualities of great practical value in this work.