don’t thank me, thank the kaballah

so there’s this chapter of GnosisII I left off at teh beginning of, though what a cliff hanger [paraphrased]: the universe/whole as a living organism. what then of nutrition. the Whole cannot find nutrition outside itself, only within itself. feed the holy jaws n that.

um, developments of material itself aside, Chad and I have been commenting on this pattern of diverging convergence or some such – as we see it in action. Tonight we were talking about the notion of developing a real I, and how development of the Personality is a part of the growth before something like conscious consciousness emerges. reminded me when i was 14 or so and going on about like deconstruction. i wanted to strip away everything and start from scratch. and S responded that one had to build an ego before one could tear it down. seemed irrelevant at the time -and I see now how there was truth, and how the seeming …

November 24th, 2009

crazy deadlines, Forerunner-Spirit

omg don’t know how i’m gonna get this project the rest of the way up before I leave. Am going to end up putting in something like 60 hours and that’s a lot of just sitting navigating through a bazillion tabs and apps for just one project. Plus I’ve taken on a smaller one I’m to have a working prototype up for by tomorrow. yay. been at it for over 12 hours, mixed projects and turns out a main component for the main project doesn’t fucking work as tested. So time out to find another one. Took a break for food other than snacking, and will now reclaim my computer space by thinking about something other than work, at least for a few minutes.

Haven’t had much time for reading this week, but managed a few chapters last night. so this Forerunner-spirit as Mouravieff calls it. John the Baptist when there were a few, and then there were many. these …

November 16th, 2009

all i need is a clone of myspace.com – my budget is $60. This shouldn’t be a problem for someone who really knows what they’re doing

[today's seemingly random title is a take on my favorite type of job posting found on the various freelance sites (for how perfectly greedy, egocentric and unreasonable these types of postings are) ---today this little vent is about taking on DIY noob clients, where I come up with really workable, custom solutions for a multifaceted CMS site, within their limited budget (not $60, but still much less than many developers  (with lesser and equal skills) would have done it for), and what do I get but nit picking and much of the work is lost on them because they refuse to RTFM  I do provide. // all the niftiness of the CMS coding is lost on them and I get bitched at. what a crock]  !!! </rant>

today’s playlist -wanna listen? -some general patton vs. the x-ecutioners, a bit of interpol, skinny puppy, def tones, ohgr, 311, msi…

Gnosis update:

so I think i mentioned before how I’ve read that Gurdjieff …

November 4th, 2009

and onto the mesoteric

Finished Gnosis I (exoteric).

some notes:

reincarnation. i remember saying that I didn’t understand reincarnation: if i am not cohesive enough to remember a past life, then how can who I recycle into be any more connected to my past lives, than to any other person’s past lives? It seems Mouravieff has provided yet another bit that finishes another jigsaw of mine, this one regarding reincarnation; destiny and free will.

M talks about one’s life being a film loop –not that the lifetime happens over and over again, but from our understanding, that’s about the gist of it, though experientially it would not seem that way : once we graduate from the predestined track, that’s that; there isn’t a need to be aware of all the parallel selves running around like robots, gathering data; we’re the us we are whenever we reach critical mass, not the earlier reactionary critters. And if we’re happy enough with life to never question the film …

November 1st, 2009

I Can’t Wait for You to Fuck Me Up

Grooveshark update inspires this mention. interface is just all round easier to use and more intuitive. Think I’ll add a playlist/artist page for my own easy listening when not at home/near my hard copies (don’t even have to login to listen to playlist via link). For now, some links to what I’ve been into just lately.

Want to completely change a mood, can’t go wrong with MSI:
Mindless Self Indulgence playlist

seems we’ve made the switch to streaming music for casual listening (while working, etc). for so long we’ve just listened to what we’ve bought on CD and ripped or downloaded. It’s nice to have easy access to music for whenever, and also the best quality stuff to collect (pay for!) and listen to for serious enjoyment[?] – I suppose i understand better now Cevin Key’s response to pirated music– [what he said] revolving around the reduced quality of the music that is most available through such …

October 30th, 2009

capitalism, the power of myth, nomads

[no seemingly random title today, just my old boring convenience label]

Saw a couple of films this past weekend. One a horror, blaire witch type of thing that was decent -interesting to try and observe / participate in the fear, group psychological experience of it. Then Michael Moore’s Capitalism movie –which I must say looking forward to as a counter to the obscene movie theater consumer trappings one must endure to make it to the actual content. I don’t watch tv for a reason, and all of that. I had a lot to say about the film afterwards, but can’t seem to tap into it just now…

I think it definitely shook some stuff up, slightly nudging this and that iron filing so that a greater resolution comes into its own. I guess overall I like the insanity that is portrayed matter-of-fact-ly, like a history of some race of beings and their struggles to develop something like true consciousness and …

October 23rd, 2009

Breathe, breathe in the air

Had to laugh at the beginning of the super director’s version (or whtvr on netflix instant) Dark Side of the Moon pretty much starts like, “…So after Syd went crazy,”. Ch thinks PF went much more industrial, like a machine (or sorry for not doing your take justice), that once Syd left they were able to like tap into the form they were destined to unfold. –sounded a lot like what Waters said in the doc actually. Though I think all the ‘Syd went crazy stuff’ is bullshit, or that the label is boringly (but predictable) typical of the world, I do not think that PF went on to make less interesting stuff. not that that’s what Ch was saying, but I think it was implied that something was missing when Syd left. I disagree. He went on to other things, PF went on to rise to the call for a great shamanic constatation [oo a chance to use …

October 15th, 2009