multi-dimensional feedback
yes, some type of reintegration. i was inspired to write because competing (multi-dimensional) input is coming home from that seeming black horizon of physical consciousness. and some of these are aspects i correlate to your (who’s you/your? nevermind) own; your own denial of / moving beyond certain elements of perspective or whtvr –in my mind/model, granted, i’m not saying i’ve got it 100% true with your own view in mind.
of course you don’t remember, the only reason i do is because your dream-mind went sexual with it suddenly (as many a dream-mind will do) and being more closely connected to the etheric/physical memory this version is probably all that you remembered (nothing but a dream if anything). my theory is that the sexual energy (sex and fear being the farthest reaching forces between dimensions of one’s consciousness, such that it can reach the etheric body and snap it into attention) transferred back to my sleepy etheric/physical body and woke it the fuck up, hence instant download of astral-memories. –just as deep relaxation is necessary for separation, wakefulness is necessary for reintegration, such as happens instantly the instant we wake up each day, leaving only puffs here and there reflected into the astral, mental , etc dimensions.
if i ask myself if it’s possible i astrally imagined the whole thing ;-P (one massive internal reflection of your one verbal suggestion? (sure, why not? you done good, that can be true too)), my brain quickly supplies proof it was as real as anything else; the memory of both of us sort of wondering that same thing and looking ‘into’ one another and sort of verifying, ‘wow, that’s really you’. and when i looked at you the feedback happened…it seems your physical/etheric saw this strong and novel connection as [awesome sex orgasm] or something and as you were writing that to memory (just a dream if anything) it intensified the experience for me as well. what at first was funny/apropos dream imagery floating around what had been neutrally you and me out of time/space, became ‘real’ in the sense that suddenly my own body was reacting rather than my mind which had been calmly waiting for those concept puzzle piece sorting and antics to die down and see what you wanted to do— as if i had this much conscious thought at the time. and ZIP i was back in bed …and in such a state
point being, if you ever want to know why i’ve been so persistent it’s simply this: you are the only one with whom i’ve interacted in this way and i’m fucking fascinated by the entire thing. it’s as real as you want it to be, but as for me personally, it’s the closest thing to my own mental world that i’ve ever experienced with another being such as myself. dude, whtvr’s whtvr, perhaps it’s best we learn these cleansing of childhood wounds and how-to-grow-up with other people. i myself find this to be the case with chad and me. it’s not easy, but it’s great to have a partner with whom to work through this sometimes painful process of growing up.
…though i’d also like to see everyone grow to the point where jealousy and fear of losing one’s partner no longer keeps us from letting our significant others enjoy others’ perspectives more closely.
IDK, sometimes I think I must be talking about friendship when others are talking about some exclusivity agreement I don’t get, because if we really trust each other my partner should know he/she is my ‘best friend’ or has some priority if/when things came down to that –or simply that of course i want to stay informed as to his comfort/discomfort about such things, that I’m committed to making sure he feels safe and respected. I mean it seems like I’m talking about friendship (period). and whether or not sex/romantic-love is involved, this friend relationship is the base. Whereas, for example, another friend of mine had this experience: after spending time with old girlfriend since her getting married he realized he ‘had feelings for her’. He decided he had to tell her they couldn’t see each other because she was married and he needed to respect the vows they’d taken, etc. I let him know my bias right off the bat, that this triggers in me memory of feeling the loss of your friendship, and asked if she’s his friend first and foremost how can he justify just simply ‘letting it go’? He was like, “well, but I don’t feel like just a friend… I’m always going to have other feelings for her and there’s only one possible outcome, so it won’t work…”.
I mean even with Chad sometimes I feel like whooa we’ve gotten carried away tryin to protect each other from the big bad world.. particularly when we’re having difficulty adjusting, a period of change and get on each others’ nerves. because no matter what happens romantically or Exclusive-Relationship wise, he’s always going to be one of my best friends, I’ll probably always want to hear from him if not see him about as much as we do now, no matter what happens. I mean what is it I’ve promised him? Is it to not have too meaningful relationship with someone else, or is it my continual love, support and friendship? It’s the second one.
i think there may have been other times when my dream-mind was the one seeking refuge in sleep when your astral/mental-mind came a knocking, for what it’s worth. i recall a few dreams over the years with strong symbolism about refusing escalator-like-contraption ‘rides’ up to ’see you’ some symbol for you connecting the ride to me. i start getting sucked up, but i jump out, ‘no, not now’ etc etc
and so i say unto (back at you in kind) you,
tonight i will enter your dreams, but dreamtime is different [the rest of what you said correctly appropriated and syntacted back at you to achieve similar intersection/meeting]
so who knows, maybe it’ll be me caught with my pants down (so to speak) this time and not remembering, while you’re the one able to glean the multiple layers of wtf’s goin on. small price. i’m game. i suppose i’ll just read my astral dynamics book and try to continue the once spontaneous, now reverse engineered, explorations and implement some of the ‘techniques’. i mean the parts i saw but not as boldly as they should have been have everything to do with multi-dimensional feedback and the consistency it takes to actually cut that out. ~everyone has oob experiences and hardly anyone remembers because of this mind-split phenomenon, not because of lacking ability or whtvr. such that staying awake for a bit if/when even the smallest odd thing about what’s happening dreamwise/mentallay near sleepytime, just to facilitate wakeful reintegration, thus being more likely to recall the ’shadow memories’… seems sensible. it seems likely that memory-proper then would come with more bits from ‘other’ dimensions, sort of like those times one wakes up and can’t remember the dream, but can *feel* what had been happening just prior to waking; perhaps little emoticon/imagery bits will filter down even on dimmer internal slumberland nights. one can dream